Reality on a Plate with Lili & Silviu Tolu
COUPLE EDITION
reality on a plate is a new publishing feature series that, in response to member requests, allows individuals to dive deeper into the experiences of others before attending our events, fostering a sense of familiarity and connection.
Some love stories begin when you least expect them, in places you never imagined.
Lili was living in Los Angeles, exploring new passions, while Silviu was travelling the world, modelling and writing. Their paths crossed in Istanbul, and eleven years later, life looks a little different. From raising their son, Thomas Jay, to building their own businesses, MTCHA LAB, they share stories about love, childhood memories, food, family rituals and the everyday moments that bring them closer.
Tell us about your backgrounds — where you each grew up, what food looked like in your homes, and the memories that shaped who you are today.
LILI: I grew up in Tulcea, a small town close to the Danube River. Our daily menu was mostly fish-based, with caviar being a constant part of it. Surprisingly, not because it was a posh thing, but because it was available and common among fishermen in those days. I was surrounded by music, and I spent most of my days dreaming about becoming a singer.
SILVIU: My story is fairly different. I grew up in Bucharest, with occasional visits to my grandparents in the countryside. I was quite involved in the usual "between the blocks" activities, playing football and so on, but more than that, I was very serious about school and reading. I was kind of forced into it, but ended up enjoying it.
In Bucharest, I was very close to my maternal grandmother, and she used to cook for us often. Roasted chicken with potatoes, moussaka, and spaghetti with meatballs and tomato sauce were among my favourites. My mom made the best roast pork dish. My dad, a honey cake to die for.
But over the years, I also came to appreciate what my other grandmother made with homegrown ingredients. Her sourdough bread was amazing, as was her homemade cheese and a dish with rice and chicken cooked in a clay pot.
So yeah, I guess my childhood was a bit of everything, and I've been thinking recently about how lucky I was.
How and where did the two of you meet? What were you both doing at the time, and what do you remember most about that period of your lives?
LILI: Quite randomly, I would say. We met in Istanbul. Silviu was shooting a commercial there, and I came with my friend Catrinel, who was working with the same brand. I was based in Los Angeles at the time, living a very Californian lifestyle and discovering new passions, like integrative nutrition. That was my main focus when we met.
SILVIU: Looking back, it was one of those moments of serendipity, as cheesy as this may sound coming from me. Of all places, we met in Istanbul. Almost like fate had brought us together there.
I was travelling quite a lot and enjoying the modelling life. I was reading extensively, writing short stories and some poetry, partying, and being quite idealistic about life, with very few responsibilities. It was the right time for me to start taking things more seriously.
What was your first impression of each other — and how different was it from the person you eventually discovered?
LILI: He was one of the coolest guys I'd ever met. I got lost in his eyes, and I somehow felt that he could be the one. Eleven years have passed, and I still can't find any differences. A few times a year, I feel like smacking him, but I guess that's a woman's way of showing affection from time to time.
SILVIU: I thought she was very hot in a very natural way, and I admit, I forced myself to play it cool and seem rather unimpressed. I think that added points to my aura. The difference is that she's still hot, and I'm probably not as cool.
What does your morning routine look like? Tell us about breakfast at home — who prepares it, what's usually on the table, and how has it changed since becoming parents?
LILI: Nowadays, I'm the first one to wake up so I can have a few quiet moments. I read my script for the day, start getting ready and prepare breakfast for TJ. On weekdays, Silviu and I skip breakfast because we're always in a rush.
On weekends, though, it's different. I'm usually the one making breakfast, and our favourites these days are sunny-side-up eggs with avocado on sourdough bread and healthy pancakes.
SILVIU: I've been skipping breakfast for years now because I'm doing intermittent fasting (with one exception: when we're on holiday and the hotel breakfast is too good to miss).
Before we became parents, Lili was still in charge of breakfast, but we ate it together much more often. She makes the best shrimp or crab omelette!
In his own words, what does Thomas Jay think you both do for a living?
LILI & SILVIU: We just asked him:
"Mommy is a TV host."
"Daddy is an expert in singing, photography, folk music and basketball."
SILVIU: It's so funny to hear him say that and understand his perspective, because I do like to sing, but I'm not very good at it! Same goes for photography.
Where do you usually shop for groceries, and what's always in your fridge?
LILI: I shop at Bio Corner a few times a month, aaand at the organic section of every supermarket I go to. In our fridge, there are always organic eggs, vegetables, kefir, dates and some cheese for last-minute meals.
SILVIU: For me, it's easy. I shop mostly online because I always forget to buy something she asked for, and this is the most convenient way to make up for it… FAST! And it works every time.
I also keep a couple of beers in the fridge (one non-alcoholic, one regular, at least), a bottle of Champagne, and a pizza in the freezer. You know, men things.
When you cook at home, what's usually happening in the background — music (name the artist), a podcast, family conversations or silence?
LILI: Neither!
Lately, our cooking sessions have really been about multitasking: discussing briefs, sometimes dealing with tantrums from the kid, taking calls, catching up on life, etc.
However, as often as we can, especially on weekends, we like playing music while we make food.
SILVIU: Yep, I made a playlist that's actually called Sunday Morning, and we often listen to that. It's a mix of genres with a hip, mellow vibe.
If you could return to one table, anywhere and at any point in your lives, who would be sitting around it?
LILI: My father. Any dinner when he was still around.
SILVIU: Hard to say, as my grandparents were never all at the same table together, as far as I remember.
If I could pick and customise, it would be either one of those loud meals on the second day of Christmas, in my grandmother's living room, with the whole family around the table, or a quieter version, on a torrid summer afternoon, with my parents and grandparents around it.
And I would like to "interview" my grandmother and write down some of her recipes.
What's one little family ritual you hope your son will remember when he's older?
LILI: Our bedtime routine, when we read to him. I would be so happy if he developed a passion for reading, and even happier if he remembered where and how it all started, with a big pile of books on the nightstand and a dimmed lamp.
SILVIU: It's not a ritual yet, but I hope it will become one, and definitely one that he'll remember with gratitude: our annual ski trip.
How do your roles naturally divide at home? What's completely Lili, and what's completely Silviu?
LILI: Most of the time, it's teamwork! But if we were to pick something in particular, making breakfast and getting TJ ready for school is completely me, and evening playtime outside with TJ is completely Silviu.
SILVIU: We try to complement each other on most tasks so that we remain flexible and can accommodate whatever needs to get done at any given time.
It's important to note, I think, that we're not the best at it. Sometimes we struggle, but overall, I think we're doing a great job, frankly.
What's the best thing about building a life together?
LILI & SILVIU: Raising our son with good values and inspiring him, by example, to follow his passions, to follow his dreams, to be kind, and to appreciate and love the process, whatever he's doing.
But also seeing ourselves evolve and thrive, becoming better parents, better individuals and better professionals. It's such a beautiful thing to observe when looking back over the years.
You've both built careers around your own identities — Lili in television and Silviu in fashion and creative work. What made you want to build a business together?
LILI: The desire to work together on a cool brand, to create a quality product starting from a ritual I already had and enjoyed, which is drinking matcha, and even to put ourselves to the test and see how we could make it work.
SILVIU: For a long time, I'd been fantasising about opening something in the hospitality sector, and with this idea, something clicked.
It felt like the right moment to do it, although in retrospect, it's been quite challenging, especially time-wise.
But it also gave us the courage to start working on our second project, THE SMOOTHIE LAB, which Lili has been dreaming about since she was still an LA girl.
I'm stoked to bring this idea and the second MTCHA LAB to life together, at Marketta, early next year.
When you disagree — about parenting, a holiday, a purchase or simply what to have for dinner — how do you settle it?
SILVIU: She's always right, and then I complain about it if it turns out she's not… and the rest of the time, it's the other way around!
What's something about the two of you that hasn't changed since the beginning?
SILVIU: I think it would be nice to answer this from each person's perspective, both about ourselves and about the other. I'll start.
I think Lili has maintained a ferocious determination to achieve her goals, despite the challenges. That, and she's never late.
As for me, I would say it's my (sometimes unrealistic) optimism.
LILI: I think one thing that hasn't changed about Silviu is his ability to make me laugh, even when I'm having the worst day.
He's always been the calm one, the dreamer, the one who somehow believes everything will work out, even when I have a thousand reasons to worry.
As for me, I think I've always been the more emotional one. I feel everything deeply, I overthink sometimes (okay, a lot!), but I also love with my whole heart.
And I guess that's something that hasn't changed about us as a couple either. We're still very different in so many ways, but somehow, we balance each other out.
He reminds me to relax and enjoy life, and I make sure we actually get things done! (laughs)
What's something Lili is exceptionally good at that Silviu thinks she doesn't give herself enough credit for — and vice versa?
LILI: He's super creative, and he knows he is, but he still doesn't give himself enough credit for it.
SILVIU: Lili has an amazing voice, and I think she should start singing again.
When I first heard her sing live at a karaoke bar, I remember that moment very specifically. It was a random bar in Vama Veche, and the song was "Valerie" by Amy Winehouse.
I was so impressed and so proud that she was my girlfriend, and at the same time, so embarrassed by how I'd sung a minute earlier…
So yeah! Lili, when you read this, here's your sign to start!
What does the other person do that still makes you laugh?
LILI: His dance moves in the living room. He makes us laugh so hard.
SILVIU: The way she looks at someone when they do something she doesn't like. It's funny. And it's also dangerous. Haha!
What do you eat when nobody's watching — your slightly questionable guilty pleasure?
LILI: When TJ's not watching! The rest, I don't really care! It's probably a bucket of ice cream!
SILVIU: Same! I don't really hide it. Sometimes I even post it on Instagram, but I guess a slightly questionable pleasure would be a nice, juicy shawarma.
Last photo you took on your phones?
LILI: It's a photo of us as we were leaving the restaurant where we'd had brunch.
SILVIU: A photo of Biserica Amzei, gracefully lit by a beam of light on one side.
Last thing you bought?
LILI: A matcha latte with our Horai matcha, earlier today. #prettygirlsdrinkmatcha
SILVIU: For myself, or in general? Because the actual last thing I bought was a toy for TJ.
Last thing you Googled?
LILI: I Googled a type of ceramic slab that I want for our kitchen.
SILVIU: In all honesty, I double-checked how to spell "moussaka" for the first question. But also, in all honesty, I had it right!
What's something you've changed your mind about recently?
LILI: Thinking that it's easy to redesign an apartment. I won't be doing that again anytime soon!
SILVIU: That I can continue saying yes to as many things as before, even though I've been getting busier and busier.
What are you beginners at these days?
LILI: I think I'm constantly a beginner at finding the right balance between being a mom, a wife, a TV host and now an entrepreneur.
Just when I think I've figured it all out, life throws something new at me! (laughs)
And lately, I'm learning to slow down a little, to let go of the need to control everything and actually enjoy the process. Still very much a beginner at that, trust me!
SILVIU: Steaming milk like a barista at MTCHA LAB! I might need some professional training for that!
Last question: What If Things Go Well?
LILI: That's what I pray for every day and every night.
SILVIU: I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs!
Kidding! People around us would feel it, as it would positively impact their lives too.
If you want to try some of the best matcha in town, stop by MTCHA LAB and say hello!
Piața Amzei 7–9, Bucharest | Instagram: @mtchalab
Photos from their personal archives Lili Sandu & Silviu Tolu | Editor Alinz
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